It is simply ridiculous. I have become obsessed. He is vibrating through every cell in my body.
I have had every emotion it is possible to have; anger, longing the ridiculing of him. I hate all of this.
Fuck off and leave me alone. Leave my dreams alone; leave my waking time alone. I left you because you were possessed; and now I am obsessed by you.
All I want to care about is my exercise routine, my facials, my massages, my empire building. I want to be desensitized, disinterested. I hate feeling. I have had enough of feeling.
I want to breeze through the future whole and self sufficient. I want to be totally absorbed and introverted. What need of the world if the world is inside my being.
4th January 2012
4th January 2012
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