Sunday 22 April 2012

The real goodbye

Happy Birthday

Today is the last day in which I shall contact you, and then I will becomes as unknown to you as I have been for the last 20 years. When we met, almost a year ago now, you were superficial and you said how glad you were to see me and how now that you found me you would never lose me again. And maybe in your home counties ways you believed what you said at the time and perhaps you really wanted to known me in a superficial and meaningless way. Or maybe you were being polite cause you were caught unawares and that's what home counties boys do, they say what they don't mean. You were so grateful to me for giving your career a jump start blah blah blah . For fuck sake, I was your lover, not the patron saint of careers...

Maybe when you remembered me better you got angry with me or maybe I scare you; maybe I bore you, or maybe you think I'm sad. Or maybe you just wonder whatever did I see in that old bag. Maybe your life is just fine because of who you have in it and maybe you just want me to fuck off and you don't need the agro in your life..

Who knows what another is, what another thinks, what another feels; what their sadness is what their happiness is, what fills their waking time.

To be honest, my whole being simply over reacted at seeing you that day. It fair did my head in and took me to places where no one my age should have to go. Still, as hard as we try, we simply can't help how we feel sometimes. Was I with the right man at the wrong time? My neck hurts form having looked back so much this past year.

And what the fuck am I talking about anyway, I was the bitch who left in the first place; but it didn't take you long for you to get over your broken heart. 6 weeks max? What does it matter anyway, it was, long, long ago, so why are my feelings so raw now? This is getting boring and it really isn't your problem anyway.

So what to do now?

Well I think I might just become a guru. I'll go out there into the world and do my guruing here, there and everywhere. I can do my guruing in blogging cyberspace to my hearts content and no one can stop me in my anonymity. I can be as obscure and as unknown as I want.

Do you think there is a parallel universe where a body meets a body and the souls of the bodies know that the body is the right body and it all happens at the right time? Utopia is far fetched, but who knows, anything is possible.

So I bath you in universal light and love (cause that's what wise, anonymous, impersonal, worldly gurus do) and wish you what you wish for yourself; and if my memory serves me right, is it celebrity and fame? xx

Honor Sterling
www.honorsgrain.blogspot.co.uk

05 April 2012
Post on 30th November 2012
Remember, remember 25th November?

This accelerated blog has been possible through future time progression. I can't hang about waiting for you to remember me....

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