For a naturally optimistic person I am feeling sad and a little down trodden. I try to be upbeat but can't. It's not that I am depressed, it's just that I don't know where all this is going.
The THIS is my life. I've been in it, I've looked at it from different angles, up, down, sideways and I just don't get it (and I'm still fat!).
I have decided that I really must be the guru of my life as I know more about it than anyone else does. To be quite honest, my life is not that interesting and in fact, I would go as far as to say that it is truly soporific. And although I know that I am the guru of my life, I go to soothsayers who purport to be gurus of life in general, and, while I pay them, mine in particular.
They see good thing around me, wonderful endings to my future. I know that this only said to make me feel better and in my heart of hearts I know that it is pure conjecture and very unlikely to be true. There is a knowing in my heart and it says that the end will be dull,sad and disappointing.
But I am an optimist and a very tiny little part of me is not so sure that the ending will not be a happy one after all. xx
Optimism & Edit Delete
ReplyDeleteYes, me too. In a resigned, fairly content way, I have no idea what’s the point of it all. But even so, ‘I really must be the guru of my own life.’ And, I want to learn to Edit Delete my own brain.
x guruDeva2