Abuse

I am an abused woman.  I have been abused all my life.

The ones I trusted most were the ones who caused the hurt.  I hope the future is bright for me.  I can no longer bear the hurt.

Someone once said they wished they could be me.

Someone else said that I was a swan, serene to look at,  paddling furiously to stay afloat. Someone knows me better than I know myself.  How sad is that
xx

Ode to fame

I look @ your website and all I can see
Collaboration with others but nothing of me
How sad the past looks, especially for me

Was I really a lover or just a stepping stone
The truth I fear shall never be known

Consumed with burning ambition, you forgot about me

You broke my heart without really knowing
The sadness I feel is now what's showing

The benefactress xx

EDIT DELETE

There is a lot of melancholy in my heart  and it has to do with  meeting of  man from the past.

But I can not be depressed or sad for any length of time; I am a natural optimist and find depression very tedious. It does not take much to lift my spirit, so I am often content. I am strong and resilient; I am ever grateful for whom ever made me this way.

As I get older, I hardly understand the point of life; I don't mean this in a negative or suicidal way, but in the way that life is so transient. I really don't get it at all. It takes so many life experiences to shape us into who we are and the instance in our life  we should have valued and did not realize were precious are momentary and cannot often be recaptured. And in any case, they may have very little value to us now.

The certainty of youth has gone, and the only certainty I now have is that I am simply an observer of a collection of events which, to a large extent, I cannot control.

I wish life was like Word where I could, at the touch of a button, cut and paste, copy edit or delete. Or like RAM, Random Access Memory, where I can dip into the part that suit my mode.  But it isn't so what can I do?

Just wait and see how it pans out xx